Nothing to See Here

I wanted to write this blog so I wouldn't forget anything.

Well, between the last post and this one.... nothing has happened (except for I'm continuing to take the progesterone.

What are they for:

They support the endometrial lining of the uterus. It helps the embryos attach to the uterus wall after fertilization. 

Just wanted to write this down for posterity. :)

Hurry Up and Wait

This morning it was back to the clinic for IUI #1 - part 2.

Once again, it was very quick. I stayed distracted by joking with the doctor about how he had to fight a dragon for his wife's hand in marriage. It was a ridiculous conversation, but it kept my mind off the procedure.

Now ... we wait.

For two weeks...we wait.

Through my birthday friday with friends, through a trip to the Reagan library, through dinner with my inlaws, through my actual birthday, through the 4th of July, through my cousin's fiancee's bridal shower, through Sisterhood Area Day.

Trying so hard not to think about it that, of course, I'll be thinking about it. Don't think about purple elephants...so all you can think of is purple elephants.

So two weeks from today, we'll know one way or the other...ahhhhh!

A Shot in the Dark

I think while I wait to see how by body responds to the IUI, my goal is to find as many puns/song titles/movie titles as possible.

Today was IUI #1 day.

Adam went to the clinic at 12:30 for his deposit. Unlike when he had to do it for the urologist, at least this time around there was a room for him.

I managed to get through an entire day of work - which was a good distraction, thanks to a wonky article template.

I arrived at the clinic around 3:15 for my 3:30 appointment. I had such butterflies in my stomach - compounded by the fact that there was no one else in the waiting room.

They called me into one of the exam rooms - and I saw I vial on the counter labeled "Lewin" - it was Adam's sperm...pretty neat.

The doctor entered and put the sperm inside the injector - and managed to distract me by asking me about work - so I bitched about the article template that the developers couldn't seem to get together. It was over in less than a minute and, outside of some mild pressure, it didn't bother me at all.

Then I had to sit for two minutes and let my body rest - so I read some more of "50 Shades Darker."

And that was it... after the all the prep work and paper work - it was over in less than 1 minute.

Tomorrow, Adam goes in at 7:15 a.m. and I'm injected at 8:15 - and then we start the two-week wait.

Dum, dum, dum, dum

A Good Monday

This morning, I went in for the "can we or can't we trigger" appointment.

The answer: I get to Trigger tonight - which means a special injection.

It also means I don't have to go back to Kaiser tonight - (thank goodness).

The lining is good and the follicles are the right size. So we aren't starting insemination Wednesday, we're starting tomorrow!

I'm excited, nervous and hoping I don't screw anything up between now and tomorrow afternoon.

Adam will go in at 12:30 - and I'll go in at 3:30; then we do the same the next day.

Our odds are 25% for making it happen the first time around - I don't know the odds for multiples, but because I've been on Clomid and injections - there is a chance.

I figured I have three things to do:

Relax
Don't panic
Breathe

and hope everything falls into place.

TGIF

Well it looks like the injections are working.

At this point I could probably drive to the clinic in my sleep.

We went back there Friday morning and the doctor said everything is progressing perfectly - and we will be able to trigger on Monday! Which means we can do the insemination on Wednesday and Thursday!

Wow.

After all the back and forth, to be this close is so exciting - and stressful.

I was concerned that I would ovulate before we had a chance for IUI No. 1. The doctor informed me that they are in control of my body (Adam said that was a bit scary, but I'm OK with it).

So I have to continue the injections and I have a doctor's note to get the syringes on the airplane for the weekend.

Friday night we went to Shabbat Services and Adam mentioned to Rabbi Rebecca what was going on. She had us come up to the bimah after the service ended and gave us a special blessing.

I figure you can't have enough prayers.

The Prayer

I have my next ultrasound appointment Friday morning. I'm trying to stay positive and hope I haven't started ovulation yet - and that the follicles are large enough.

Since starting the road toward creating a family, we've tried several different methods to make it happen. Somehow I don't think any single one of them would work independently:

• Western medicine (FSH shots and medication)
• Eastern medicine (acupuncture)
• Voodoo (a Mojo Fertility baby)
• Witchcraft (moonstones)
• Disney magic (faith, trust and pixie dust)
• Jewish prayers

We'll be going to synagogue Friday night and, during silent prayer, we'll be saying this one:

"Shechina my God, God of all generations, I stand before you today as did my mothers, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, Hannah and Michal, to ask for your help in my quest for a child. As each of their journeys took a different path, so, too, I am mindful that my journey has many possible endings.

"I stand before you not to ask for a baby, but to ask for the strength to face all that lies before me with grace, dignity, and courage. Help me to remember that your covenant at Sinai bound those who were there with those who had not yet come to be, and to be mindful of the participation of both myself and the child I seek in that covenant relationship with you. Help me to accept the comfort and support of my family and friends as I walk this road, and keep alive in me the spirit of hope. Amen."

Keeping the faith...

Parentheticals

Good news: The injections have been working. (yay)

Better news: No more pills. (double yay)

But... it is still too soon to trigger (boo).

The doctor looked at my follicles and they are doing really well, but they are waiting for them to reach a certain size... the phrase "gorgeous lining" was uttered. I've found myself singing songs in my head during the u/s when it gets uncomfortable. Today's tune: "Don't Forget Me" from Smash (it's awesome)

I'll be heading back to the clinic on Friday (the day before we head to Chicago). Until then, I can go back to Kaiser and pick up additional supplies (translation: more injections).

If all goes well size-wise, we could very well trigger next Monday and Tuesday (yay).

The waiting is absolutely the hardest part.... that and not being able to any control on how fast my eggs are growing.... oh, and traffic on the 101 ... and having a broken nail (grr)

If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Thousand Oaks

Tomorrow morning -- after three days of additional injections of FSH, I'm heading back to the clinic in Thousand Oaks.

I won't lie, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous they'll tell me the folicles still aren't big enough to trigger.

I'm hopeful that they won't say that.

If I can trigger tomorrow - then Adam will do his thing on Thursday/Friday (and I'll do mine).

If not, we might have to go through another cycle....grrrr....

Trying to stay positive! Think faith, trust and pixie dust.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I always say I'd rather have a shot than take a pill.

Be careful what you wish for.

In order to make sure my eggs are the right size to fertilize, I have to have some FSH injections nightly. The doctor put me on two night of injections...at half the amount.

When we went in yesterday, they said they were growing, but were not there yet. Um, yay? I have "improving" eggs.

I was told it was like balancing a bunch of pennies on a piece of cardboard and you only want one to fall off. Balancing the injection amount with the number of nights will give us a good egg. They actually said having multiples is not the goal, that the goal is ONE good egg.

So they upped me to the full dose for the next few nights - and I'm going back for a check up on Tuesday.

Adam and I are going to Chicago this weekend for my Bobie's headstone dedication. We were supposed to leave Friday, but the doctor mentioned that it is very possible Friday would be a trigger day. So mom and Adam got us on a Saturday flight and canceled out our rental for one day and our hotel for one night. Meaning we can go to the doctor Friday and see about making that baby.

In the meantime, I'm injecting nightly... so I figured I would look the part: I put on a pair of scrubs my mom brought back from Shaarei Zedek Medical Center.

X-(Ray) Marks the Spot

After dreading this morning's test - it was finally time to go in for my HSG:

A hysterosalpingogram is an X-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes which allows visualization of the inside of the uterus and tubes. The picture will reveal any abnormalities of the uterus as well as tubal problems such as blockage and dilation (hydrosalpinx). If sterilization reversal is planned, the point at which the tubes are blocked can be seen. This helps to plan the reconstructive procedure.
If the tubes are not blocked by scar tissue or adhesions, the dye will flow into the abdominal cavity. This is a good sign but it does not guarantee that the tubes will function normally. It does give a rough estimate of the quality of the tubal structure and the status of the tubal lining. Some cases where the tubes appear to be blocked where they join the uterus, may in fact be normal. Often blockage at this location may be due to spasm of the opening from the uterus into the tube or from accumulated debris and mucus blocking the opening. This can be managed by passing a very thin catheter into the fallopian tube either at the time of hysterosalpingogram or during a hysteroscopic procedure.

Generally there is no special preparation needed for this test. However, depending upon your diagnosis, you may need to take antibiotics to guard against possible infection. To ensure that you are not pregnant, the study is done between Day 7 and 10 of your cycle. Prior to the procedure you may take an anti-inflammatory medication (Aleve or Motrin). A small catheter is placed into the cervix and the dye is injected. You may feel heavy cramping during, and for several hours following this procedure. Expect a sticky vaginal discharge for a few days as the dye is expelled from the uterus. Use a pad or panty liner during this time to allow fluid to escape. Any dye that remains will be absorbed without any ill effect.

I took two advil and my "dox" drug this morning and I went back to Kaiser Woodland Hills... I'm getting very comfortable with that route (and it won't be the last time, of course).

I went to Radiology and checked in for the test. I didn't have long to sit, as they called me a few minutes later. I went to change into an unflattering, backless gown. Honestly, they couldn't use something cuter?

They had me sit on the X-Ray table- and it made me only slightly uneasy they couldn't figure out how to lock the machine in place. These people were in charge of putting in a catheter? Really?

Then the nurse practitioner came in and told me what would happen (thank goodness). I kept trying to breathe (at leat remembering to breathe) as they shot die inside me and from start to finish it took about 30 seconds or less . The it was over and I was free to go.

There wasn't too much pain, just some intense pressure that's been with me for the last few hours. They said it might last for a day or two. Then I realize I took two pills instead of four this morning. Wow. Guess my pain tolerance is even better than I thought.

After an interesting day at work, where I tried not to laugh too much....I cam home and took two more advil, the "dox" and one more injection in prep for the follow-up ultrasound tomorrow.

The X-Rays are in my car for the doctor - and I'm hoping he'll say it's all good. It's like looking at a treasure map...except, instead of a pot of gold, you find a uterus.

Life Is a Highway

"There ain't no load that I can't hold. The road's so rough this I know. I'll be there when the light comes in. Just tell 'em we're survivors."

Finally fell asleep around 12:30 a.m., which wouldn't be horrible if I hadn't had to wake up at 5:30 a.m.

I knew my day would be one filled with Cars - literally and figuratively 


Left the house at 6:15, after taking my "Dox" pill and drinking a lot of water and headed east on the 118 to De Soto and down to the Kasier Lab (which opened at 7 a.m.). Good news was I was No. 6  (I would have been No. 1, but I went to the wrong lab at first)... and there was no wait for the bathroom. So I was in and out in about 10 minutes.


I then headed West on the 101 to the clinic in Thousand Oaks. 


I got there way early for my 8:15 appointment, and was able to enjoy some people watching of other couples. I wondered what their stories were, if they were doing the same thing we were.


While I was there early, they didn't take me early -- and I knew I had to be out of their by 9 to make it to Burbank by 10.


The doctor did the ultrasound and said I had decent size eggs and uteris lining, but he wanted a little more. I asked if that could be tied into the fact that I don't typically ovulate until day 20 -- and this was day 11. He said it could be, so he was prescribing an injection that would help with the eggs. 


So the nurse showed me how to do an injection -- not difficult, and I'd rather do an injection over a pill any day. I took meticulous notes, as well. They also tested my Estrogen level (which was fine). The nurse was able to fax in the prescription to Kaiser, so I didn't have to make another stop.


Left the clinic at 9:05 and heard the 101 was terrible (big shock). So I took the 23 to Olsen to Madera to the 118 to the 5 to the 170 to the 134. Amazingly enough, I made it to the parking lot by 9:52 - with time to spare to check in for the shuttle.


YAY!


After an amazing day of Synergy at Cars Land, where I had the chance to finally take pictures, learn about the Parks Strategy for the next fiscal year and tweeting for Disney Family - I took the shuttle back to Burbank.


Went back to Kaiser to pick up the injection and, after dinner, Adam helped my put everything together for the injection - which involved inserting saline into the powder and swithcign needles from the long one to the short one.


I have two nights of this, I am then am going back to the clinic Saturday morning before a friend's baby shower for a follow up ultrasound.


If all goes well, we trigger this weekend. If not, I do two more night of the injection ansd then we should be able to trigger next week.


And tomorrow it's back to Kaiser for the HSG -- bring on the Advil.

Luckily, my appointment isn't until 8:30 - which means I get to sleep ... I hope.

Sleep...oh why do you evade me?

Why is it that when I REALLY need to go to sleep ... I can't.

So I'm trying to get to the heart of why I'm awake

• Is it that I'm thinking about having to get up at 5:30 a.m. ... to be at the Kaiser lab at 7 a.m. for a pregnancy test - needed for the HSG test?
• Is it that I don't want to forget that I have to take a medication tomorrow morning and evening in prep for the HSG test on Friday.
• Is it that I'm hoping I can get from Simi Valley to Woodland Hills and then to Thousand Oaks by 8:15 a.m. for my cycle Day 11 ultrasound?
• Is it that I hope I can leave Thousand Oaks by 9 a.m. so I can get to Burbank by 10 to get on the "Synergy Shuttle"
• Is it that I'm excited to go to Cars Land tomorrow and tweet for Disney Family?
• Is it that my husband is playing poker tonight so it's hard for me to fall asleep without him?

Regardless of the reason, when I tried to fall asleep at 9:30, I had a weird Finding Nemo dream where I was swimming on the EAC.

Maybe it's time for some warm milk....

Back at the Ranch

Some days you get lucky and all you get is a phone call confirming an appointment. This is one of those days.

I then decided I didn't want to drag all my medications around in a tacky paper bag from Kaiser. So I switched over to a much more attractive bag that doesn't look like I'm a homeless person. 

I've also been watching TNT a lot this evening - which means I've seen about 20 commercials for Dallas. Hence the title. Anything to get my mind off the upcoming fun-filled tests....

IUI 101

I have found that when I tell people that I am undergoing an IUI, I get blank stares. Most people have heard of IVF, since it is a more popular, more discussed, but more complicated, method.

I find myself defining IUI and then stopping and saying: Glorified turkey baster.

Sad, but that's pretty much what it is.

Unlike in IVF, where eggs are retrieved and combined with the sperm, this is the 411 of the IUI:

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

Intrauterine insemination, or IUI, refers to the placement of sperm directly into the uterus. IUI is performed near the time of ovulation and is a relatively simple procedure. Processed sperm is placed directly into the uterus using a small, flexible catheter. Infertility medications may be recommended prior to insemination. 

I know it isn't as glamorous as IVF, but I think - given my goal of educating and entertaining - it could catch on....
 

Ah Clomid...I won't miss you

Tonight was the last night of the Clomid...so happy I can scratch that off my to-do-list.

I looked up what it exactly does:

Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released.

Although I have eggs aplenty (according to the doctor), I'm guessing the prescription is standard.

That means I don't have to take any meds until Thursday - when I start the doxycycline for the HSG test.

Wahoo!

CBTL With a Fertility Twist

Experiment was a success. Clomid is MUCH better in ice blended mochas than in cottage cheese. Tonight and tomorrow are the last two nights...then begins the week of topsy turvy testing.

Clomid - Oh why do you taste like crap?

I am not a great pill taker - I never have been.

I take liquid and I take gelcaps...but pills, I can't do.

So when the doctor said I have to take five days of Clomid - it made me freak a little. The doctor said I could crush it up and eat it with something.

Last night the experiment worked: I had it with an ice blended mocha.

Tonight it failed: I had it with cottage cheese and fruit.

Ewww....bitter, disgusting, awful.

Tomorrow night I'm going back to the Ice Blended. At least I only have three more nights of it.

I told my husband there is an injection you can take instead, but it increases the chance of muliples. I told them I'd rather have that then have to go through that awful tasting crap again.

YUCK!

The First Step Is a Doozy

After more than a year of waiting ... plus a two-month waiting period for a chicken pox vaccine ... it was finally time for us to go to the Fertility Clinic.

The appointment was set for a Wednesday afternoon - which means sitting through a day at work and trying not to think about it.

We went to the clinic and I really had no idea what to expect. We knew we'd be meeting the doctor and that I would be having a vaginal ultrasound - which sounded more painful than it ended up being.

We learned that we were wrong -- what we thought was my husband's low motility turned out to not be true. The doctor said that he could see no reason why we wouldn't be parents by July 2013...I almost started to cry. Hearing that after all this time felt so good.

DH came with me into the exam room - and of course his inner 5 year old came out (he though the light was a microphone). I told him he had to behave or he couldn't stay.

The doctor took the probe and checked me out. He told me I had a gorgeous uterus (a compliment I hadn't expected). He then moved the probe around some more and reached a bunch of black spots. I asked if those were the eggs... and he said yes, a healthy amount. Somehouw this devolved into me having  "Huevos" -- which has since led to my husband wanting to make Hueveos Rancheros.

In any case, I knew my child-bearing hips would come to good use.

They said to come back in three days after my period began for another ultrasound to make sure everything was still good.

My period came Monday night- so I went in today for more of the same fun probing - made even more fun by the fact I have to have something in me during my period.

Everything was still in good order with a lining of 7 cm...I'm guessing that's a good thing.

So now I'm booked to come in for US No. 2 next Thursday (before we go to a Synergy event with Carsland ... quite a day).

I thought I swould have a fun HSG test this Friday... but, of course, per Murphy's Law, Kaiser was booked and only offers the tests on Fridays. So I'm up next Friday for something that involves blowing up a balloon inside me. I was told to take advil and that I might need Valium. My thought: are you kidding me? Valium? Really? I'm someone who spent a week with an infected wisdom tooth. A valium for mild cramping?

Of course, when I called the clinic, the nurse (who must think I'm an idiot) said the doctor would have to sign off on that Thursday. I kept explaining to the nurse that the RE coordinator called the clinic and was told it would be fine. As it is, I have a 32 day cycle and don't ovulate till around day 20...which means June 24ish. So while for most people that might be a problem, it isn't for this chiquita.

So with all this testing fun comes medication fun: and it was time for a trip to Kaiser's pharmacy. Since I didn't have time to wait 45 minutes for it to be filled, I dropped it off and came back this evening. I am now the proud owner of 5 days worth of cloid, some Valium, some dox-something (to keep away infection), some syringes and some vaginal suppositories. I could make a killing on Let's Make a Deal. The nurse thought it would be easier to get it all at once...anytime I can make one less trip to Kaiser WH is a good day for me.

Tonight was the first for the Clomid. The pharmacist said it could make me dizzy - and the Dr. suggested I mash it up. So I listed to the latter and ignored the former. I bought a pill crusher and mixed it up in my Mocha Ice Blended. So one day down...four to go. No dizzyness (I hope the mashing helps).

Next step is confirming the tests -- and enjoying the time before the second U/S.  I'll get one more trip on Radiator Springs Racers - since, if this takes it will be at least 9 months before I can ride it again.
 I haven't told that many people what I'm doing - but if anyone who is reading this will learn all about it. I also had an imaginary conversation with my bubbe - the one person who I will miss the most during this process as she was so excited at the prospect of being a big bubbe.

It's amazing to think that around my birthday I'll find out if I'm going to be a mother (cue scary music).

Wanted: Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust

Originally posted 5/29/12

Tomorrow, DH and I will be going to the fertility clinic for the first time and consulting with the doctor about our first IUI.

After we learned DH has enough sperm - but low motility - I called the Kaiser Fertility coordinator, who had me get a chicken pox vaccine (the one part we were missing).
I should have the eggs to make this happen - but we'll find out about if I need to go on clomid - I hope not, I HATE pills.

Luckily, the clinic isn't too far from our house - which means, I hope, less shlepping.

I swear haven't filled out this much paperwork since we bought our house.

We had an amazing Disney Cruise vacation last week, and kept picturing ourselves taking the same cruise next year with - we hope - our child.

During one of the last shows, Peter Pan told a young girl named Anne Marie that she could do anything she wanted, she just had to have faith, trust and pixie dust.

I'm bringing all three tomorrow.

On Pins and Needles

Originally Posted on 1/22/12

We're still working on the "why" behind why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. We took two approaches this week: DH went for Western medicine and a urologist meeting - I went for Eastern and a meeting with an acupuncturist.

My best friend, who became a mother six months ago, mentioned that another friend of hers, who was having trouble conceiving, got acupuncture - and it helped (she had a baby four months ago)..

So three hours after my cousin announced she was pregnant, I googled my city and "acupuncture" and  sent an email to a woman who does acupuncture. She is a mother herself and, when I mentioned our issues getting pregnant, she didn't flinch or say I was crazy.

I met with her last week for an evaluation, and it was very therapeutic: we talked and I told her what our issues were and she listened. It felt good. I had filled out a form about any ailments - interestingly, all were connected to my kidney (when I was 7 I had a kidney infection that was so bad I was in the hospital for two weeks).

So I went back to her Saturday, and had my first acupuncture appointment. It was so strange - but it didn't hurt. I was face down and she massaged my feet and my back before inserting the needles in my back, ears, ankle and top of my head. It was relaxing - so much so that, at one point, my butt even fell asleep.

So what does this mean for conception? I'm not sure yet -- I'm going back for another appointment in two weeks - along with taking ovulation tests, prayers and wishes - I'm hoping something helps.

I asked DH if he would want acupuncture - I think he'd rather get a root canal.

A New F-word: Frusturated

Originally posted 12/14/11:

It's been a while since I've posted. I thought by now I'd be posting about being pregnant or even having a baby. However, it hasn't happened yet.

I read an article that says even if all the stars aligning and you do everything right - there is still only a 25% chance of getting pregnant. 25% - those odds suck. I mean it's good for a discount or an interest rate, but 25% is not comforting.

We started trying last January, but my husband went on Levetra in June. So we can cut out the first half of the year. Then came then fun "I hate math" part of my life. We thought we' d figured it out - but I guess I was off (and that was with ovulation kits). So we continue with the kits  - I even bought fertility stones and a mojo baby when we were in Salem (I figured it couldn't hurt).

Went to the doctor when my period was late two months in a row. He told me sometimes women who want to have a baby stress themselves out to the point that they end up being late. Lovely.

Next step is DH going to the doctor and making sure he's not "shooting blanks" (edited to add: it turns out what we thought was a motility issue is not, and we fall into the 1/3rd of couples where there is an unexplained reason).

He stresses himself out wanting this - and though he tries to relax, he knows we both want to be parents, so that ends up stressing him out more.

The really frustrating part is women all over the world (and many teenagers in this country), who get pregnant without even trying - yes I'm talking to you Teen Mom.

My grandmother passed away in October. The rabbi told my mother that when someone passes to Gan Eden (the next world), they can watch over those they left behind and thing seem to happen -- like pregnancies.

I sure hope so.... I think we'll make damn good parents - 100% guaranteed.

If it's in the water, I'll drink to that!

Originally Posted 2/5/11

I guess this is the first post I've written about the baby thing.

It's strange writing a pre-pre-natal post. We haven't been trying very long (I think two weeks at this point)- we were waiting until after a zipline excursion during a recent cruise.

I've been writing a blog since before we were married in 2007 (Tales of a Jewish Bride to be), to our first year of marriage (Tales of a Jewish Newlywed) and now to our life in our new home (Tales of a Jewish Suburbanite). So I figured I would track our baby story here, too (since I'm superstitious, the title won't change to Tales of Jewish Mom-to-Be until after I've reached my second trimester).

In the last year, several people in my life, who I didn't realize were trying to have kids, have had them. And it's strange... I can't define it, but there are just some people you can't picture as parents.

We decided to take the relaxed approach (although when I woke up with an upset stomach last week my DH freaked out and ran to the store to buy a pregnancy test).

Today walking into a maternity store to look for a gift for a friend and seeing all the doodads for the mom-to-be -- my aunt remarked that things had changed quite a bit since she was pregnant in the late 1970s.

So that's my story. I'm on Flintsone pre-natals (LOVE THEM), and have been watching A Baby Story from time to time.

When we do have a child, it will be the first grandchild on both sides and the first great-grandchild on one side.

It'll be a doozy when it actually happens - stay tuned!