Lessons From Disney: Talking to Your Kids About Positive Thinking

I wrote some blog posts for another site. Those blogs are being taken down, but because I worked hard on the pieces, I'm keeping them anyway 

Today’s Lesson: The Power of Positive Thinking
Materials:

• Movie: Pollyanna
• A Smile
• Glad Game
• Rainbow Maker

Pollyanna: a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything. (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)
In this day, when cynicism is considered hip and cool, why is it that those who have an optimistic outlook are considered silly, foolish or square?
That is the dilemma facing Pollyanna Whittier.
In 1960, the Walt Disney Studios released the live-action family film Pollyanna, which was actress Hayley Mills’ first film role. The story, based on the 1931 novel by Eleanor Porter, is about an orphan who comes to live with her wealthy aunt (Jane Wyman) and changes the views of the townspeople.
In the film, Pollyanna, whose parents recently died, is sent to Harrington – the town named for her grandfather – which is “run” by her Aunt Polly.
Pollyanna’s hallmark is playing “The Glad Game” – as the child of missionaries, she never had a doll, but her father taught her to the finest points of the things she did have. (Even not-pleasant objects, like crutches, could become positive, i.e. because she didn’t need them.) She introduces the townspeople to the  “The Glad Game,” by taking something unpleasant and turning it into something happy.

  We looked for the good in them, and we found it, didn't we?

For example, the staff at her aunt’s house hate Sundays because of the fire and brimstone sermons at church – but Pollyanna reminds them that, once the sermon is over, “you will never be any farther from next Sunday’s sermon than you are right now.” It turns out the sermons are “suggested topics” from Aunt Polly to Reverend Ford.
              Pollyanna: Nancy, are you and George gonna get married?
              Nancy: We hope to, someday.
              Pollyanna: Oh, I am glad. I think everyone should be married. And maybe, when you do get married, Aunt Polly will see how happy it makes you, she'll be very glad to get married herself, then.
              Angelica: Glad this, glad that. Do you have to be glad about everything? What's the matter with you, anyway?
              Nancy: Oh, lay off her, Angie. She's not hurting you.
She is also given the small attic room at her aunt’s house, rather than one of the larger unoccupied bedrooms:
            Angelica: Stuffy in here. Not much of a room, is it?
            Pollyanna: But it's my own, anyway. I'm glad of that. Ooh, and the bed's soft! And it's got a lovely window.

Over the course of the film Pollyanna spreads her optimism around the town. She tries to help rekindle a romance between Aunt Polly and Dr. Chilton, a childhood sweetheart who had left town years before. She befriends an angry recluse Mr. Pendergast (Adolphe Menjou), accusing him of not wanting to share the “rainbow-makers” in his home (prisms hanging from a lamp shade). She meets hypochondriac Mrs. Snow (Agnes Moorhead) and convinces her not to worry about dying and instead to focus on being happy because she is alive.

At the high point of the film, the town bands together, with some last-minute support from Reverend Ford -  who was reminded, thanks to Pollyanna, that “no one can own a church” -  and hosts a carnival to raise money for the dilapidated orphanage (usually Polly would just give them the money).

The event is a success, but a tragic accident later that evening changes everything –for Polly, Pollyanna and the town.

Will Pollyanna be able to play the “Glad Game” when she needs it the most? Have the townspeople – especially Aunt Polly - learned enough positivity from Pollyanna to help her?

In the end, Pollyanna is about more than just a girl who always tends to find the good in everything. If it were that simple, there wouldn’t be a good story to tell. The bigger question is: What is wrong with wanting to find the good in everything? 

Playing the “Glad Game” isn’t easy. Some do it by making lemons out of lemonade, looking at the glass half-full, wearing rose-colored glasses, or always sporting a smile. But there is some good in everyone, and something good that can be found in every situation. It just might take more time than some people are willing to invest. But if you do, the pay-off will be worth it.
As Reverend Ford tells Pollyanna: “We looked for the good in them, and we found it, didn't we?”

Lessons From Disney: Talking to Your Kids About Self-Doubt

I wrote some blog posts for another site. Those blogs are being taken down, but because I worked hard on the pieces, I'm keeping them anyway 

Today’s Lesson: Believing in Yourself
Materials:

• One Movie: "Bedknobs and Broomsticks"
• One Flying Broom
• One Enchanted Bedknob
• Books: “The Isle of Naboombu” and “The Spells of Asteroth”
• One Black Cat Named Cosmic Creepers

To Believe – “to accept something as true, genuine, or real" (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)
“Bedknobs and Broomsticks,” starring Angela Lansbury as apprentice witch Eglantine Price, who ends up caring for three orphans in war-time England, flew into theaters in 1971. It was another example of what happened when Disney paired animation and live-action (a la “Song of the South” and “Mary Poppins”).

Eglantine is hoping that a particular spell she is waiting to receive from the Correspondence College of Witchcraft (and its headmaster Emelius Browne, played by David Tomlinson), will help to end the war. However, the spell doesn’t come and when the kids spot her doing some flying, she offers them a spell in exchange for their secrecy.

Too often preteens, teens and even adults fall into the “not believing” trap. It doesn’t take a spell to make a believer out of someone.

The “world famous traveling spell” – which enchants a bedknob and allows the bed to fly – takes them from Pepperidge Eye to London (to find Browne), to the mansion where Browne is staying, to Portobello Road (to find the spell book), to the Isle of Naboombu (to track down the Star of Asteroth medallion) and back to Pepperidge Eye.
Although the film, based on a novel by Ian Flemming, features several songs from Disney Legends the Sherman Brothers, the one that got the Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song was called “The Age of Not Believing.” It is a song Eglantine sings to Charlie – who is 11 going on 12 – when he expresses doubts at the bed (with its magical bedknob) actually working.
One of the stanzas that might stick with you when you hear the song is this one:

When you set aside your childhood heroes
And your dreams are lost upon a shelf
You're at the age of not believing
And worst of all you doubt yourself

Too often preteens, teens and even adults fall into the “not believing” trap. It doesn’t take a spell to make a believer out of someone.

Of course, Charlie does get onto the bed right before it takes off – apparently his fear of cats outweighs his doubtfulness.

Why is it that when we reach a certain age, we let doubt creep in? Would it make us happier if we allowed ourselves to believe that something will happen – rather than discouraging it?
It might not make inanimate objects move – but it could help make the day go better.

Lessions From Disney: Talking to Your Kids About Loyalty

I wrote some blog posts for another site. Those blogs are being taken down, but because I worked hard on the pieces, I'm keeping them anyway

Today’s Lesson: The Price of Loyalty
Materials:

• Movie: Treasure Island
• One Black Spot
• Treasure Map
• Pirate Ship
• Talking Parrot

Loyalty is a virtue to be treasured. And it might be treasure that is worth its weight in gold. But just how far should it go? These are the questions presented in the classic novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island.
It’s a wonderful book if your kid is old enough to read, but it’s also a great film for younger ones and movie lovers in general. The film starring Bobby Driscol as Jim Hawkins and Robert Newton as the one-legged pirate of all pirates, Long John Silver, sailed into theaters in 1950. It was the Walt Disney Studios’ first completely live-action film and the first screen version of Treasure Island made in color.
In the film, young Jim Hawkins gets pulled into the world of piracy when a sea captain named Billy Bones dies at the Hawkins family inn after being presented with a black spot. Right before dying, Bones gives Hawkins a map to the legendary treasure of Captain Flint and warns him about a one-legged man.
Jim runs from the inn and gives the map to Squire Trewlany and Doctor Livesy, who make plans to head out to sea onboard Captain Smollet’s Hispanola, with Jim as cabin boy. Trewlany hires a sea cook – with one leg, Jim notices. It is, of course, Long John Silver, who hires the remainder of the crew made up of his fellow pirates. Silver has his own reasons for coming aboard the Hispanola: He wants the treasure for himself. Silver befriends Jim, also for reasons that aren’t entirely clear: Is he using Jim, or does he genuinely like him?

Was Jim so desperate for a friend that he was willing to side with a pirate to get that friendship?

Onboard, when Jim overhears Silver planning mutiny he is told to keep being friends with Silver, so he can learn more.
“Stay friends with him?” Jim says warily. “Yes sir, I’ll stay friends with him.”
Jim’s loyalty to both sides becomes increasingly difficult and, while maintaining loyalty to Smollet, he still doesn’t want anything to happen to Silver. As cutthroat as Silver is, he really has a friendship with young Jim. When the ship makes its way to “treasure island,” and battle lines are drawn, Jim is given the map and told by the doctor to use it to save his life if he needs to.
When Jim is stabbed in the arm during the fighting, Silver expresses genuine concern (after taking the map from him). He keeps the other pirates from attacking Jim and says he is “taking care of him proper.” He waves the white flag to bring the doctor to the fort, telling the men he will trade Jim for the map (they don’t know he already has it). And he parlays with the doctor, telling him: “You could cut my good leg off before I lay a finger on [Jim].”
When the doctor comes to rescue Jim, Jim says he can’t leave because he gave “Long John” his word.
Now that Silver has the map, will he find the treasure – and, if so, will he get away with it? Will Jim help him or stop him?
Was Jim so desperate for a friend that he was willing to side with a pirate to get that friendship? When loyalties are tested, why are we drawn to one side over the other? Will the lure of friends always win out over the stability of parents?
In the end, Treasure Island is more about a hunt for a treasure, than the treasure itself. It’s about loyalty, friendship and the legacy you hope the leave. And - just like the black spot – once you are marked as a friend (or an enemy), it is a hard label to lose. Ay matey!

The First Sick Day

Well it was bound to happen - we sent Danielle to day care and, on her second week, she picks up a cold.

We're not totally sure if Adam gave her something as well, or if she gave him something as well.

I had emailed the doctor several times when she started getting a cough and was told not to worry unless she got a fever or threw up.

Wednesday of that week, Adam took her to Urgent Care after he picked her up from daycare. They told him the same thing. So, that night, when she had a massive spit up, I got a 911 text from Adam while I was at a mahjongg tournament.

I met them at urgent care, which, of course, was closed by then. So it was off to the hospital. Since their Urgent Care was closed as well, we ended up in the ER. At the end of the night they found she had .... a cold.

Saturday night hiits and she is still coughing and congested - but it's a wetter cough (fun). So it was back the hospital - and we missed the pediatric Urgent Care by 7 minutes - seriously? 7 damn minutes and our co-pay goes from $20 to $100!

So it was back to the ER - and, this time, the doctor took an X-ray. There was no radiologist - but the doctor said there might have been a little haze. As a precaution, we were given Amoxicillin (at least it smelled better than the Poly Vi Sol we've been giving her).

We were told to come back the next day as a follow up.

Of course, the next morning - Adam, who had been starting to feel like crap, sounded like the Walking Dead. So, as I took Danielle to Peds Urgent Care, Adam went to regular Urgent Care.

Her diagnosis: Possible Pneumonia
His diagnosis: Severe Bacterial Bronchitis - and a Z-pack

If either was sick, I  could have going to work... well...work, but with two sickies, it was up to mommy to stay home a good chunk of the week.

I couldn't leave the house because Adam couldn't hold or feed Danielle - and until Adam felt better, he couldn't leave the house either. Luckily - several places deliver in our neighborhood.

A little over a week later - both are A-OK. Adam still has some cough drops; Danielle finishes the last dose tonight. And mommy never got sick (yay!).

Being sick is no fun, but being well in a house of sick people sucks!

Hail to the Princess!

When a princess arrives, she does it in style!
Our princess Danielle arrived three weeks early via semi-urgent C-section.

We went to the doctor for my NST and ultrasound. The tech told us she was measuring at 4.8 and that we would need to talk to the doctor.

So we went up to Labor & Delivery where they told be to put on a gown and get in a bed. I thought that was odd - why would I need to change just to meet the doctor?

Dr. Martin came in and said we would be delivering. I asked if this was a go to work and come back and deliver thing, I had a couple of meetings and Adam and I had driven separately to Kaiser. He said no... I wouldn't be leaving the hospital without delivering. Adam and I were stunned - we thought we had three weeks more to prepare. A baby! That day!

They took my vitals and said I could have the c-section right now or they could induce and see what happens. I said, let's see if induction does anything... it didn't. However, it did give me some contractions that lowered the baby's heartrate - so off to surgery I went.

The spinal worked great. We were in the room at 5:55 and she was delivered at 6:22 - I was in recovery at 6:45. I did, however, throw up - thanks to a combo of eating late and a gross grape antacid they had given me (adam was a trooper and cleaned me up). They also had to drug me at the end because they couldn't stitch me up (the pressure was terrible and they were moving my organs around a little too much).

Danielle Ruth was 3.14 and 17.5 inches long!

She was so cute - but she would need to spend the next 20 days in the NICU where they would be feeding her additional calories and helping her grow.

Her organs are fine and she is really strong - she just needs to eat more.

As for me, I am officially a cow. They started having my pump the first night and we have about 80 bottles in the freezer - plus several at my inlaws.

We brought her home on Sunday and are getting used to having a baby in the house, and she is getting used to us!

We are so in love :)

So I have gone from a hopeful Jewish mom to be ... to a Jewish Mom!

And I love it!

It's in the Bag

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go....I'm standin' here outside your door

Well, I'm not standing outside the door - but my bag is packed.

When I was at the doctor this past week, I learned that once I hit 37 weeks, they won't stop labor. I'll be 37 weeks on Monday, so I figured it was time to put things together.

Because Kaiser considers 35 to be high risk - and I'm 34, they also won't let me go past my due date. This means the matzo ball can arrive anytime between tomorrow and March 18.

I have everything I need for me set in the bag: robe, nursing bra, nursing PJs, toiletries, sleep mask, chargers, speakers, hair ties, slippers, breast pump and other mom-to-be fun since I have no idea where I will be when I need to head to the hospital (I'm HOPING it happens at night or the weekend before). Pillow is in the car.

We still need to put matzo ball's bag together - which pretty much consists of an outfit (which is at my aunt's house), and a nursing boppy - which I received from a coworker and is currently in a Target bag under my desk at work. The car seat bases are in both cars (we will likely take Adam's car to the hospital).

So for not being able to have a lot ready - we're sort of there. Physically at least. Hope the kid has a good sense of humor - because I sense a lot of screwball moments in the first few days.

And Then There Were 30

I'm estimating that my last day at work will be March 15. Of course, we plan and God laughs. Between now and then, there are still a few things to do. Believe it or not, even though we aren't doing anything to the nursery until the matzo ball arrives, there are still several things I can do (not enough to warrant working from home, but still thinks I need to scratch off my list).

First up: We are getting the car seat base installed tomorrow. When Adam and I were babies, we were lucky if the car we were riding in had a seat belt - let alone a car seat. Rather than going to the DMV at a time that is convenient for neither of us (no Moorpark CHP, 3 p.m. on a Tuesday is NOT feasible), we are having a woman come to the house and give us a lesson in car seat safety (I just hope she doesn't quiz us).

Next: We have to finish up Lamaze. One of the Lamaze classes was canceled, so I'm not sure when we're going to be able to make it up since the Thursday after is Infant CPR. It's been informative, I just hope I've absorbed enough information to make it work when I go into Labor.

Then: Select the newborn photographer. This was actually made easier thanks to Stephanie who recommended Evie's photographer - and it is totally within our budget. Timewise, the photographers like to take pictures when babies are 5-7 days old - which will land us the day of Passover (or at least earlier that morning). The good news is she'll come to the house, so at least the family will be around.

So these are the next three on the list -- the list I've been trying to tackle to the best of my ability. I know we'll have a bunch more things to scratch off once she arrives, but at this point, anything that keeps my mind off the waiting is a good thing!